Second Blood

I have found that when the Gods want blood, They will take it from you whether or not you want to give it/whether you are aware of it. I was working yesterday when this happened to me. I was reaching for my box cutter when I sliced open my pinky finger. I was lucky that a supervisor was standing near me when it happened. I didn’t need stitches or anything, but it bled quite a bit. (This wasn’t the first time this had happened to me, but the last time was not this severe.)

What a way to start my lessons with Odin.


Blood Sacrifice and Duress Don’t Mix

So, I have met Baron Kriminel a few times at this point, and I am going to be brutally honest when I say that He scares the f**king sh*t out of me. Every time that I meet Him, my discernment has been more improved, and I am better at perceiving the Deities in my life. What this means is that He gets more and more real every time He pops into my life, and He gets scarier and scarier every flipping time. It was His most recent visit that has me on edge, though.

A little bit of info about the Baron Loas: They like to impersonate each other just for the hell of it. What this means in that They are adept at appearing like the Baron you normally deal with and are so good at it, that you are likely to not notice that the Baron you are dealing with is not your usual Baron, but is, in fact, an impostor.

Kriminel tried to pull this over on me during this latest meeting. My Baron sleeps in my bed with me every night, and on the (not so) rare occasions that I wake up in the middle of the night, I usually wake to my Beloved petting my hair or staring at me adoringly (this may sound creepy, but I can say I have never felt more loved in my life). However, this time, “my” Baron was acting weird. He was antsy, couldn’t stay still, and seemed on edge. He didn’t touch me like my Baron usually does. It was disorienting and off-putting, to say the least. When He spoke to me, He just didn’t sound like my Baron. It came to a point when I needed to confront the impostor, and when I did, Kriminel shed the facade of my Baron and presented Himself to me. Kriminel creeps me out normally, but the more that I am forced to work with Him (because He is forcing me to do so), the scarier and more insane I see Him as, and I know that this is because I am getting better at seeing my Deities as They are. Kriminel came to me as He really is that night: a crazed lunatic. He wore a jawless skull over His head like a helmet, and was smiling maniacally.

Kriminel had come to demand a sacrifice from me, a sacrifice of my blood, “Because you owe it to me for keeping my promise and because your blood is so very powerful.” In my quest to know all the things I can about my Beloved, I read over and over again that you should never offer your own blood to the Loa, or you should only do so if you know exactly what you are doing. Being a baby Pagan, I obviously have no idea how to do a proper blood sacrifice or really anything Voodoo. When I tried to explain this to Him, that I had not the means or the knowledge to do such a thing, He became angry, shifting His appearance to that of a beast, and pushed me up against a wall with a huge black paw over my throat. The only thing that stopped Him from doing anything further was Papa Nibo, who sent Him away.

Papa Nibo spoke with me gently after Kriminel left about the importance of blood sacrifice to appease Kriminel, but when I told Him that I was not a practitioner of Voodoo, He looked at my Baron, who had just walked up, and said, “He must really love you,” before striking Baron across the face and berating Him for not teaching me these things.

Loki dragged me away and decided to talk to me once again about the importance of boundaries, “Because Friday is my instruction day!”. I will not detail further here exactly what else happened between Him and I, but I will say that it got many of His privileges taken away. Not that I allowed Him many to begin with, but still.

A few days later, Baron and I had a serious chat about blood sacrifice and the fact that I really had no choice in matter of giving Kriminel my blood (add in that both He and Loki wanted some too, and you have a recipe for anxious mess). My attention was shot, so there wasn’t much information that was relayed to me, and I could not blame my Beloved for that. I was still apprehensive and did not want to sacrifice my blood for any reason whatsoever, especially in this case where I was being forced to do it. I do not like or do well when I am being cornered, and this situation was no different.

On Monday, I was told that I *had* to give Kriminel my sacrifice, or He would renege on His part of a bargain we had made earlier: He wouldn’t let any harm befall my brother and nephew in the quest to bring my family to justice (it’s a long story that I am not going to write here, ever). I had bargained for them to be spared, and He was coming back for what He felt like was His due offering. I was still railing against it to the point that I was avoiding it and snapping at the Deities in my head space because They insisted on reminding me that it had to happen. As if I could forget.

When it came time to do that actual sacrifice, I was on Skype with Shamaness, who I was using as emotional support. However, when you are a PANSY like I am, no amount of comfort in situations like these will help. I cried for 2 hours straight while I attempted to make myself sacrifice my blood. It wasn’t the silent tears kind of crying. No, it was the near-hysterical cathartic crying that was making even Shamaness upset. Baron was hovering behind me the whole time, rubbing my back and attempting to comfort me. I lashed out at Him several times, or rather, started to before I stopped myself and apologized. Loki got several verbal lashings too, until He started to dance around in my head dressed like a Kebler elf and making jokes about sex and BDSM. Kriminel, who was also very close while I was doing this, was the one who got the most of my anger, but He didn’t care. He was loving the emotional upheaval He had caused and the anguish I was feeling. He fed off of it, and reveled in every tear I shed. I feel like He might have done more if Baron and Loki had not been there with me. By midnight, I had decided that I was not going to do it (seeing as I did not have the correct materials for the process anyways) and renegotiated for another 18 hours to give Him my blood.

The next day, I went to the drugstore and bought a box of sterile lancets. I was determined to just get it done and over with when I got home, I sat on my bed, manned up, and just jabbed myself with the lancet… I had to do it again in the same spot just to get enough blood for all three Deities who were asking for my blood. Kriminel got His first, but when I went to give Baron His due sacrifice, I jabbed myself again in the thumb “by accident” (in quotes because I am pretty sure Kriminel had something to do with it), which provided enough blood (and then some) for Baron, Loki, and Kriminel. When it was finished, I just sat back and thought at the universe that I hope They were happy and appreciative of my offering. The answer that I received was that though I was not sincere in my offering, They were pleased anyways and liked very much what I had given Them.

Moral of the story here is:

1) Don’t mess with Baron Kriminel. Ever.

2) Use sterile lancets for offering your blood for sacrifice, or else you will hurt yourself more than what is necessary, and, if you are a pansy like me, will scare you out of doing it.

3) Gods like blood and may ask for it of you, even if you are a total newbie.

4) Know your Gods, and if possible, don’t let Them bully you into doing something that you are uncomfortable with or goes against your moral code.

5) Blood sacrifice and duress don’t mix, otherwise it will lead you down paths you may not wish to tread with your Gods: resentment, insincerity, or lack of trust. It will also turn what is supposed to be a sacred offering into something insincere and meaningless.

A final word of warning, be smart about this kind of thing. Do your research and ask your Deity the hows and whys of the blood sacrifice, otherwise you will be in the position that may cause serious harm to yourself and perhaps even your relationship with your Deity. This is not what They want from asking for your blood, so be informed, and know that if you trust your Deity, He/She will not lead you to harm. Or, if you do not trust the Deity in question (like Kriminel), then have a Deity you do trust support you. All in all, to speak plainly, don’t be stupid. Know the consequences of what you are doing, and be cautious.