There have been some revelations for me recently, and I have had to sit with them for a while to get accustomed to them. Some parts are easier to sit with than others, but I’ve needed to brew over them to fully understand the implications. I’ve also debated whether or not I should even talk about them on here for fear that there might be some who don’t agree with what I say. However, since I have adopted the phrase “open and honest communication”, I think it would be best to keep that promise to myself to be as honest as I can be. Otherwise, what’s the point of sharing my story and my Path? So, without further ado, here are the revelations that I have had recently.
Revelation 1: I am Odin’s daughter.
Talk about a brick to the head this one was. I’ve mentioned before that I am the daughter of Sekhmet, but I have always known that, somewhere, I had a spiritual Father as well. I just didn’t know Who. I don’t remember exactly how this admission from Odin came about, but when He told me, I didn’t doubt what He said for a second. It rang so true to me that I think I surprised all of my Gods with how easily I took the information and didn’t question it like I normally do… Well, I had one question: Odin and Sekhmet? I still haven’t figured that one out. I feared telling anyone what I had discovered because I feared people would disbelieve me, UPG police me, mock me, or, worst of all, tell me that I was crazy and making things up. I am proud to be a daughter of Odin, just as I am proud to be a daughter of Sekhmet, and I am beyond happy that I can “keep” Odin in my life, so to speak. 🙂
Revelation 2: I now run with the Wild Hunt.
Before I knew I was Odin’s daughter, I had begun to see signs of other spirits coming into my life. At first it was subtle, but it soon progressed to pure terror. I would see things moving in the shadows; I had an unholy terror of the dark that I had never had before; and I felt, more than ever before, that I was being watched. I lived in terror of the night and the dark for weeks, to the point where I would not go out after dark for any reason. This terror triggered the very intense fight or flight instinct in me, but I also felt that I could never outrun the darkness, and the darkness felt so large and all-consuming that I was stuck in fear. Yet, the dark didn’t attack me or move towards me. Instead, it asked me to join it, to run with it. To ride with it. I decided to ask for Help, and I was Told to go to Odin. It didn’t take long for me to connect the dots that the Wild Hunt was asking me, as the daughter of Odin AND the Khaleesi of the Ghede, to join the Hunt. After pushing aside my utter terror, I realized that the things I was seeing and the spirits that were around me were merely curious about me, as this was the first time I had been acknowledged by Odin. Knowing that the Hunt meant me no harm, I accepted the invitation to join the Wild Hunt, and from now until who knows when, the Ghede and I shall ride alongside the Hunt.
Revelation 3: Who I am bodily is the same as who I am spiritually.
This may seem like a no-brainer to most anyone else, but because I struggle with body image issues and a depression that makes me not like myself on the best of days, I have always operated under the assumption that my soul, my spirit, is very different from who I am bodily (including my personality). So, learning and having to sit with the fact that the only real difference between the two is the effect of my brain chemistry on my body, has been difficult at best. In fact, it makes me feel a lot worse in many respects because I always held out the hope that when I moved to my “life” as a Goddess, that I would somehow be more, better than I am now. Yes, in many ways I will be more and better, being a Goddess will do that, but I will still be me, and it depresses me. I dislike myself that much. I struggle with this, even with the constant reassurances from my Husbands and the other Deities in my life that I am loved just as I am. This will probably be something that I work on for the rest of my life and a daily struggle. So, it may be much longer for this one to sit comfortably with me, if it ever gets that far.
Revelation 4: Baron Kriminel is another face of Baron Samedi.
I had read in some places during my initial research of Baron/the Loa that some believe that all of the Barons were actually just different faces of the same Being. I hadn’t really believed that until recently. In fact, I have pretty much made it my business to avoid Baron Kriminel at all costs because He scares the living crap out of me. His initial impression on me was less than favourable, so to hear Him tell me that He loves me and that my Marriage vows to Baron Samedi apply to him and all of the other Barons as well… I actually wasn’t surprised so much as confused. I mean, considering my previous encounters with Kriminel, I never thought he was capable of liking someone, let alone loving someone. He tells me, though, that He never wished to hide what He is from me and that I needed to know what He and all of the other Deities are capable of: the good and the bad. I have been incredibly lucky that my experiences with spirits and Deities have mostly been good. With Kriminel, though, not so much, and I accept that. His face serves a purpose (to deliver justice to those who have wronged others). Even though He has been abrasive at best with me, thus far, I also accept that His role in my life serves a purpose, too. I am not ready to discuss this purpose yet, but I accept Him as He is, and He accepts me as I am as well. I can’t say this will be a smooth sailing kind of relationship, but I hope, in the end, all works out well.
These are the four revelations I have had in recent weeks, and as I am coming into myself more and more, taking on more responsibility as a daughter of Gods and as a Khaleesi to a great band of spirits, I feel myself growing in personal power. I can feel it unfurling within me. It’s a heady feeling, and I am fairly sure that this is just the beginning of something huge that is going to happen in my life, but we’ll see.