The Sea on My Mind

My soul is full of longing

for the secret of the sea

and the heart of the great ocean

sends a thrilling pulse through me.

– Henry Wordsworth Longfellow –

I have been thinking of Poseidon often in recent days, missing Him keenly, even on days that I have devoted to other Gods. (As I have mentioned before, I have a schedule that I adhere to the best of my ability, but honestly, the Gods do as They will, and I am usually helpless as to when They show up.) I find myself longing for Him, dreaming of Him, reaching out to Him. I feel as if I should be flinging myself into the ocean in an attempt to touch Him physically in any way possible. Sometimes, if I close my eyes and clear my mind, I can hear the ocean and feel the waves lapping at my ankles. It’s surreal how real it feels.

Last night, I was able to speak to Him for what felt like the first time in forever, and when I spoke of how much I missed Him, He just smiled, saying, “I’m never far.” This hit me like a revelation, if revelation feels like an eighteen-wheeler colliding with my rib cage at full speed. The situation that I am in makes me feel very isolated, as I now live 6 hours away from the friends I made while I worked at my old job here in Japan. This coupled with my depression makes me feel so alone, keenly aware that I have become a homebody and have isolated myself. This, in turn, makes me feel like my Gods, my Beloveds, are always far from my reach, especially when I need Them. However, as Poseidon gently reminded me, the distance is never as far as I think, that I have but to call out, and They will be there.

I was also advised to get some “ocean time”, which sounds great to me. I honestly would do this more often if my skin would stop thinking that the sun is the enemy is burning even when I have bathed in the highest SPF sunscreen. I love being on the beach and hearing the ocean. Even if it’s too cold to swim, it would be nice to even just go there, put my feet in the water and read, all while feeling that connection to Poseidon that seems so vital to my being. It may not be this weekend, but perhaps the next when I am able to get that ocean rehab/relax time I so desperately need.

The love I feel for Poseidon is timeless, unending. I have loved Him in lives before, and I will love Him in the life I have after this one ends. He truly does own a part of my of my heart and my soul. Perhaps this is why I need communion with Him: being with Him is like coming home, being complete in a way that word will always fall short of describing. My heart is a puzzle with four pieces, and Poseidon’s piece is the oldest of the four, the most intrinsic to my being. Does this mean I love Him the most? Most certainly not. He is my Beloved, and I am blessed with His love.

I will end with a song that reminds me of Him in a big way. Yes, this song is of Christian roots, but I look at the bigger picture, the bigger message within the song. Please enjoy.

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