So, the funeral for my father was on Saturday, US time, and the original plan was to have me watch over skype. However, my sister couldn’t get enough reception to have me watch. On top of this, my father’s girlfriend (long story short: my parents separated about a year ago), wouldn’t let my sister read the eulogy that I wrote for him, for reason’s beyond my comprehension and knowledge. Obviously, this upset me intensely. So, I posted it on my facebook so that my family members and my dad’s friends could read what I wrote for him. I thought I had done the right thing for myself, for my grief, but apparently what I posted offended the girlfriend’s daughter. This girl decided to harass me and insult me by questioning why I hadn’t been there for him and saying that what I had written as a preface to my eulogy on facebook was inappropriate. Ultimately, I just blocked her, but it cut me deep to have someone throw in my face the question “Why weren’t you there for him? Where were you when he was on his deathbed.” The defensive part of me wanted to be like, “Bitch, I live in fucking Japan. I would like to see you shell out $2 thousand dollars on short notice for a plane ticket.” However, because I am a civil person… Most of the time… I just asked her to leave me be, and when she didn’t. I blocked her.
Anyways, I wanted to post here what I wrote for him. I edited out his name for the sake of my family’s privacy. I would say “please enjoy”, but I don’t think that is appropriate in this context, but I am not quite sure how to preface this. Anyways, again, here you go. I hope you like it.
[My father] came into my life when I was only five years old, and unlike any man before him, he stayed. He truly became my father, raising me and guding me not because he had to, but because he wanted to. This taught me that family is more than blood and genetics. It is the bonds you share with someone who has put time and effort into your well-being, sometimes above their own. He taught me what it meant to be a father.
He taught me the meaning of hard work and perseverance, taught me that with persistence and elbow grease, anything can be accomplished. Without this lesson, I would not be where I am now, living my dream. I will strive to work hard in all areas of my life in honor of his memory and to teach this lesson to my children when the time comes.
Most of all, though, [he] taught me that the true measure of a man is not in great deeds or great sacrifices, but in the small, day-to-day moments. It is measured by the accumulation of all the little things that make up one’s life. He taught me that strength is not just physical, but also mental, emotional, and spiritual. These things are the measure of a truly great man, and [he] was one such man.
[My father] wasn’t perfect, no man is, but he was and is still great to me. I will miss making his coffee in the morning and hearing him say the word “blitherin”. I will miss his silly jokes and the stupid movies he loved to watch. Actually, there won’t be anything that I won’t miss. I will miss him and all the little things that made him dear to me for the rest of my life.
Thank you, Dad, for all that you have taught me. May you rest in peace. I love you, Dad.