Sick Days with my Loa Love

Since last week, I have had a cold that no medicine has been able to touch thus far. I was even sent home from work with a fever. While I feel absolutely guilty that I have been missing so much work because I am sick as all get out, there is one perk that comes with this: I get to spend time with my sweet Baron, and I always revel in any time that I get to spend with my loving Husband. I learned some time ago that Baron has some domain over illness, which is why I suppose He was chosen to be the one that watches over me when my body decides to sponge up every contagious illness possible. (I exaggerate, but it does feel like this sometimes.) It really is just nice to know that I am being taken care of and will be taken care of in the future.

I truly, madly, deeply love my sweet Baron. Even when I am sick. 🙂


Honoring my Gods

I have begun to notice a trend with how I am honoring my Gods, and it is not as I would have expected. It is most certainly not what I particularly want to do for Them, but with the way things are now, I am learning to accept that I cannot do for Them as I want to, as well as what I want may not be what They want from me anyways. My Gods are not shy about telling me Their wants/needs, but recently They have been very subtle. I seriously don’t mind the subtly. In fact, I think I quite prefer it, because it gets everything They wish for me to do done, all without the waffling and stubbornness I usually have.

Recently, I have been learning how to honor Oshun in a way that is pleasing to Her. I have been doing a lot more to beautify myself as well as making myself feel beautiful. I have learned enough Japanese now to order products online from Lush Japan, and I have spent a ridiculous amount of money buying different things from there. I can afford to do this now (which is a comfort all on its own), but it makes me happy to know that I am making my Mama happy. By buying and using these products, I not only makes myself feel more beautiful, but I also help with my goal of becoming more organic and earth-friendly. I like the feeling of being close to Mama Oshun, to have Her spirit with me as I cleanse the grime of the day away. It makes me so happy to feel Her close to me. It is in this way that I honor Her spirit. By making myself feel beautiful and feel good about myself, I can make Her happy.

In honoring Odin, I take online courses and continue to seek knowledge out as I have always done. I seek to expand my mind and learn more about the world I live in and to better myself in my profession of choice. I am also helping other expand their own knowledge by teaching others as Odin Himself (and O/others) has taught me. I strive to tell my students that learning English is not impossible, but that it can be difficult at times but it’s rewarding. For me, I feel this is my way to “pay it forward”.

I honor Poseidon by refraining (when possible) from eating fish. This is not an easy feat to accomplish, especially in Japan, but I do not choose to eat fish of my own volition. There are times when I have accidentally eaten fish (Japanese being hard to read and all) or where my coworkers have fed me fish without my knowledge/I feel obligated to eat fish when I am with my coworkers for fear of being rude. Aside from these cases, I have not willing partaken in fish since arriving in Japan.

For my Husbands, I honor Them by being myself and walking through my life as myself and not as I think people want me to be. I try to go through life being a good example of not just being a Pagan, but also as a human being. I do this my being kind, generally being cheerful and smiley, and by being loving. I do what I can to just be a beautiful person in general. This is difficult for me due to my depression and its associated symptoms, but I am assured that this is something I do even when I am not mindful that I am doing it, which is a relief. (This is not to say that I shouldn’t be mindful of this, but sometimes, when I do not have enough mental/emotional energy left to think of it, I can still honor my Husbands by just being me.)

In general, I honor my Gods by writing down my experiences and what I have learned from them on this blog. I honor my Gods by being myself and doing as I am asked. I maintain altars for Them and give offerings of food. When I eat my meals, I wait until my Gods have gotten Their fill before I eat. I try to maintain my health (physically and mentally) for Them. Mostly, though, I honor Them by loving every single one of Them as They are.

Through this, I have learned that there are many ways to honor the Deities that I have devoted myself to. In this, I can honor/love/worship in a way that is most suitable for me and not in a way that doesn’t feel natural. I don’t have to conform to someone else’s idea of how I should worship my Deities, and that in and of itself is so liberating, especially because of my prior experience being a Christian. I also find it relieving that I can hear it from my Gods what They would have from me. Yes, I feel self-conscious that I am not one of those very public Pagans (you know the ones). I worry, as I am sure most do, that I am not doing enough for my Deities or that I am not working enough with/for those that share my beliefs, but at least for now, I am meant to be working on myself and making my little corner of this big, big world a better and brighter place. This is now I can best honor my Gods, and it makes me happy that I can do even this for Them.

Devote Your Life

I absolutely love this piece, most especially because I feel the same way. It has taken me quite a while to realize the same things as what the author has written here (and perhaps it will take the same to let it sink in completely). Anyways, this piece is very beautiful. I am so thankful to have read it. It was exactly what I needed today.

The Lure of Beauty


Holy one, 

Let this day unfold in harmony, love, and beauty

Guide me as an instrument of Your grace

Let me be of service

And receive the blessings of merit

Thank you

For the most part, practitioners of all stripes can agree that our lives, come from the Divine. That this body, soul and spirit, the blessings we receive, the beauty in the world around us, comes from a source outside of us. While we may argue about the nature of that source, we generally agree there is one.

I have *always* suffered from believing that what to had to offer wasn’t enough. It stems from childhood, and growing up with an autistic brother. This often made me feel confused and helpless. I remember being unable to understand why, after all we’d done for him, he didn’t get better. Whether it was prayer, medicine, or help with his daily living…

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Odinic Parallels Part 2

I did not know that I would be writing  a part 2 to this, but as He wishes, I thought I would write a little more about how I can see some parallels between Odin and myself.

I am going preface this with a heavy emphasis on the fact that I am still new to my study, and I am still learning about the Deities that I work with and worship. I am not someone who indulges in the academic side of my spirituality, so what I know is based on UPG and what I have read from other bloggers who I have learned to trust as a source of correct information. So, take what you like from what you read here.

So, as it may be obvious now, but I live in Japan now and have lived here for the last 6 months. It has been a wild ride since I got here. The emotional coaster alone has been ridiculous. I took some (involuntary) time away from the the majority of my Gods to reorient myself in the real world, as it were, but I am not getting back on track with Them, slowly but surely. Anyways, I have come to notice a number of things that stand out about my life here. Things that I noticed before but were never so blatantly obvious: the parallels I have with Odin Himself. Most specifically that of the Wanderer and the Outcast (as I wrote before).

I see myself a little bit more like the Wanderer every day. I live in an apartment that has been a temporary home for many people before me and will be a temporary home for many people after me. There is a feeling of transience in this place, and my thoughts always come back to how settled I should get, because I will be leaving in the end. This job is also temporary, so my place here is not fixed either. My time in Japan will (might) come to an end next year or who knows when after that. I have no home to call my own. There is a place I settle my head at night, but it is accompanied by the constant fact that I will leave this place not too long from now. It gives me a restless feeling, especially not knowing where I will be going after this.

The Outcast is one of Odin’s personas that I feel very keenly. I feel this every day. The Japanese are a very… Exclusive people. Sometimes to the point of abject racism to anyone that is not of Japanese origin (this racism even includes those that are only half Japanese). So, it is easy to imagine, I would think, how I feel so acutely outside everyone else. It is easy for me to feel outside even if the behavior of the people around me didn’t reflect my status as a foreigner. I am a tall, blue-eyed, light brown-haired, bigger girl. I look around only to see shorter, black-haired, and brown-eyed people everywhere.