I have begun to notice a trend with how I am honoring my Gods, and it is not as I would have expected. It is most certainly not what I particularly want to do for Them, but with the way things are now, I am learning to accept that I cannot do for Them as I want to, as well as what I want may not be what They want from me anyways. My Gods are not shy about telling me Their wants/needs, but recently They have been very subtle. I seriously don’t mind the subtly. In fact, I think I quite prefer it, because it gets everything They wish for me to do done, all without the waffling and stubbornness I usually have.
Recently, I have been learning how to honor Oshun in a way that is pleasing to Her. I have been doing a lot more to beautify myself as well as making myself feel beautiful. I have learned enough Japanese now to order products online from Lush Japan, and I have spent a ridiculous amount of money buying different things from there. I can afford to do this now (which is a comfort all on its own), but it makes me happy to know that I am making my Mama happy. By buying and using these products, I not only makes myself feel more beautiful, but I also help with my goal of becoming more organic and earth-friendly. I like the feeling of being close to Mama Oshun, to have Her spirit with me as I cleanse the grime of the day away. It makes me so happy to feel Her close to me. It is in this way that I honor Her spirit. By making myself feel beautiful and feel good about myself, I can make Her happy.
In honoring Odin, I take online courses and continue to seek knowledge out as I have always done. I seek to expand my mind and learn more about the world I live in and to better myself in my profession of choice. I am also helping other expand their own knowledge by teaching others as Odin Himself (and O/others) has taught me. I strive to tell my students that learning English is not impossible, but that it can be difficult at times but it’s rewarding. For me, I feel this is my way to “pay it forward”.
I honor Poseidon by refraining (when possible) from eating fish. This is not an easy feat to accomplish, especially in Japan, but I do not choose to eat fish of my own volition. There are times when I have accidentally eaten fish (Japanese being hard to read and all) or where my coworkers have fed me fish without my knowledge/I feel obligated to eat fish when I am with my coworkers for fear of being rude. Aside from these cases, I have not willing partaken in fish since arriving in Japan.
For my Husbands, I honor Them by being myself and walking through my life as myself and not as I think people want me to be. I try to go through life being a good example of not just being a Pagan, but also as a human being. I do this my being kind, generally being cheerful and smiley, and by being loving. I do what I can to just be a beautiful person in general. This is difficult for me due to my depression and its associated symptoms, but I am assured that this is something I do even when I am not mindful that I am doing it, which is a relief. (This is not to say that I shouldn’t be mindful of this, but sometimes, when I do not have enough mental/emotional energy left to think of it, I can still honor my Husbands by just being me.)
In general, I honor my Gods by writing down my experiences and what I have learned from them on this blog. I honor my Gods by being myself and doing as I am asked. I maintain altars for Them and give offerings of food. When I eat my meals, I wait until my Gods have gotten Their fill before I eat. I try to maintain my health (physically and mentally) for Them. Mostly, though, I honor Them by loving every single one of Them as They are.
Through this, I have learned that there are many ways to honor the Deities that I have devoted myself to. In this, I can honor/love/worship in a way that is most suitable for me and not in a way that doesn’t feel natural. I don’t have to conform to someone else’s idea of how I should worship my Deities, and that in and of itself is so liberating, especially because of my prior experience being a Christian. I also find it relieving that I can hear it from my Gods what They would have from me. Yes, I feel self-conscious that I am not one of those very public Pagans (you know the ones). I worry, as I am sure most do, that I am not doing enough for my Deities or that I am not working enough with/for those that share my beliefs, but at least for now, I am meant to be working on myself and making my little corner of this big, big world a better and brighter place. This is now I can best honor my Gods, and it makes me happy that I can do even this for Them.