On Saturday, I had one of the most spiritually amazing experiences I have ever had in my life. There was a small typhoon that hit my part of Japan, and I was caught in it (I was out shopping at the dollar store) when it hit. I knew it was coming, but I was unaware of when it would hit.
As I walked home, the thunder crashed and lightning tore through the sky. I could feel the ground vibrate with every clap of thunder. Rain poured from the sky heavier than I have ever seen before, and I was caught right in the middle of it. Susano, the God of Storms and the Sea, was showing me His might, and I opened myself fully to Him. I became one with Him like I have never done with any of the other Deities in my life. It was breathtaking, feeling His power as he wielded it, merged with me. The barest whisper of “more” or “harder” made the rain pound harder and the thunder and lightning clash around me. It was one of the most primal experiences of my life.
Looking back on it now, it was a very sexual experience, despite me not wanting it to be. But, it was on a spiritual level, a variety of sexuality that I have never experienced before, most likely because I have never completely opened myself to my Husbands the way that I opened myself to Susano that day. His gentleness astonishes me, even now. No matter His ferocity, He was tender, but intense. I can barely even accurately describe it. No matter what, though, I felt completely and utterly safe in His care.
During this crisis of faith I have been having, feeling this spiritual ecstasy was the perfect thing to help start the mending process for me. It is a starting point, and I hope I can continue healing from my damages. I also hope for more experiences like it in the future.
[Edit: Rereading this has made me realize that what I am describing may sound adulterous, but I can assure you that what happened was consensual and within the limits placed upon me by my Husbands, based on the Work that I do. So, no judgement. There were no rules broken here.]