Of Shackles and Cages

Dominion over me has passed from Baron to Loki, and little by little, I begrudgingly admit that I’m coming to trust Loki. Baron didn’t have the same length of time with me as Loki is to have and has had, so Baron will apparently be taking some time after I get to Japan to help me settle and to ensure an easier transition, as well as get me to trust Him as I’ve started to do with Loki. They have mentioned that having something (aka Someone) familiar with me will help ease me into my new life more easily instead of just plucking me from this life and hoping for the best. They seem to trust that Susano will take good care of me while I am in His domain, so I need to learn to trust Him and Their judgment of Him.

Next week will be more difficult for me when I will be passed to Poseidon for safe keeping, because of my own mortal hang-ups about fights and what not. I’ve spoken to Him once since that fight, which helped reduce some of the friction, but I’m still apprehensive. I don’t do well with this kind of thing, so I suppose it is a good thing that He is pretty good with all of this. He, in His own way and fashion, does in fact care about me, and I am going to have a rough time of acclimating myself to Him in a role that is more than just my girlfriend’s patron.

As for Sekhmet, well, She’s not on A/anyone’s favorites list with some of Her recent behavior. Her meddling has interfered with some of the plans my Husbands and Susano had planned out. I understand Her reasoning, but this does not endear Her to me at all. I’m just hoping They/She doesn’t decide to keep me shackled for a week longer so that I may be forced to learn to trust Her. I don’t think this will be the case, but I cannot be certain.

In short, “We will stop at nothing to ensure that you become the best person/Wife you can be” is a lesson I am learning very quickly. They’ve shown me this time and time again, but I’m seeing it very clearly now. I’m resigned to the fact that I have no choice in this and have very little fight left in me to try to free myself. There is still deep twinges of resentment and guilt and shame (the first for Them and the last two for me) every now and again, but I can’t do anything about it now. It’s just easier to do as I’m told. They’ve broken me, and They are going to have to put me back together once They have all the pieces They need to reassemble me into the person They wish me to be. We’ll see how these next few weeks go. World-Breaker is running rampant through my life, and He’s not yet done with me. It’s not all torture, and I am being rewarded for cooperation, so it’s not bad, but I think that is the point. All in all, it’s really is only difficult because I am making it be so. I’m not so good at shackles and cages.

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