As per Loki’s request, I have asked for Odin’s aid in helping me learn the runes so that I can use them later on in my spiritual Path (which for me, I have been told, will involve rune magic). I know, maybe better than some, that there really is no such thing as a free gift, that everything must either be earned or gotten by means of some sort of sacrifice. What this means is that I will have a steep price to pay for asking for the knowledge of the runes, “because I know that you can handle anything I will ask of you.” I will endure 10 days of ordeal, the 9 to symbolize His time spent hanging from Yggdrasil in gaining the knowledge of the runes, and an extra day enduring the pain, agony, and despair Loki felt as He was bound beneath the poison-dripping snake. My ordeal will start tomorrow with the latter, after I drink the mead I offered to Odin today for His consumption. I undergo this willingly, but almost fearfully.
When I invoked Him, I used words given to me by Loki Himself, words that I almost feared would be trolling on Loki’s part (and I am not sure He didn’t troll me), and within moments of finishing my pseudo-speech, Odin spoke to me, filling up my head and my living space with His consciousness and power. I felt my own power rise to prickle my palms and fingertips while also feeling like my hands were being held down against my thighs where they were resting. I felt Odin’s hand on top of my head, tilting my head back to look up at Him (I perceive better with my eyes closed, so this is what I did, and oh boy did I *see* Him). Lastly, I felt His thumb over my left eye, just a slight pressure there, but it was enough that it blocked out any light that was coming through my eyelid. When He spoke, though gentle as He has always been with me, there was a firmness, a harshness, that I had never heard from Him before. His presence alone awed me, but this pushed me deep into the submissive space that I keep well hidden from plain sight. I knew He was going to be the first God that forced me into submission, to truly master me like I had never been before. I was still beneath His touch out of this need to submit to Him as well as a sign of reverence.
He spoke to me about the trials I am going to endure to gain the knowledge of the runes as well as a better understanding of the Gods that I work with. He was not ruthless in His speech or phrasing, but matter of fact, which was an odd comfort. One of the last things that He asked me was if I was willing to sacrifice my own eye, as He did, for this knowledge, while putting just a little more pressure on the eye beneath His thumb. I was allowed a moment of thought before I cautiously agreed and was relieved of the pressure from His thumb on my eye. Odin then spoke of future trials I will endure, future ordeals, that will help me grow and progress on my spiritual Path, that I may also have endure death and rebirth as many others before me have done. All for the sake of seeking knowledge and running headlong down my Path.
Odin left me gradually, but not before forcing tears from my eyes and telling me to let them dry on my face. He remarked how beautiful they were to Him, and I was humbled in an odd way that I cannot really describe. I was given the order to put a few drops of my blood in the mead that I offered Him in the morning, then tomorrow night at 9, I will drink the mead and thus will start my 10 day ordeal. He told me that I will be watched throughout the entire time I will undergo my own version of His sacrifice as well as Loki’s. I know that I will not be helped or allowed help from anyone, that I must endure this alone, as They did. Despite this, I am not afraid. Perhaps I am growing out of my pansyness? I suppose we will see.