Very relevant at the moment. Thank you for this.
Compassion has been a cornerstone of o/Our relationship since the very first day w/We met and You held compassion for me. You planted a seed of compassion for others within me, though it would be years and years before that would sprout. Awareness, You stress — take in all sides, view the big picture, strive to understand the full story, and then, compassion.
Compassion isn’t complacency. It’s not being a doormat. It’s not turn the other cheek while atrocious things are done to you. Sometimes compassion is action, and sometimes its hard action, but ideally with personal desires removed — justice versus revenge, even when the outcome is the same. It’s why I can say I strive toward being compassionate, and still think the death penalty is sometimes necessary, or at least, more desirable, more proper than letting people continue to live. Though, that’s beginning to slip, these…
View original post 543 more words
I stand with you.
Political activism has become so commonplace in the United States news that we hardly bat an eyelash anymore. I don’t, at least. I’ve been blasted with articles about things like Bree Newsome’s courageous removal of the Confederate flag, people dangling from bridges to stop Shell’s ice breaker, the next step in the LGBT+ movement after marriage equality and the Black Lives Matter movement and why it is as American as the Boston Tea Party. I read many of those articles, feeling overwhelmed as I watch from the background as men and women fight for what they believe in.
Political activism has become more common place with each week. There’s a new series of articles being shared across my friends’ FB pages, which I’ve read about a hundred times with each new share. The world is changing with the youth of America willing to not only acknowledge those changes…
View original post 1,137 more words
I will leave this right here… And yes, I did it.
Baron Kriminel is a face, or aspect of Baron Samedi. He is the face of Baron that pursues and punishes criminals. He’s mean; He’s terrifying; and He’s exactly what He needs to be to do His job. I’ve had very little communication with Him in general, but when I was a brand new polytheist living with my family, He was a more active fixture in my life. Recently, however, He’s not been with me much at all, which in all honesty, is a bit of a relief.
When He appears to me, He’s wearing almost the same garb as Baron Samedi, but to me, it’s more tattered, more unkempt. He presents to me like He’s wearing a skull over His head like a helmet. Sometimes I see Him either carrying a sacrificed bird or wearing feathers in the collar around His neck and around His wrists on the cuffs of His shirt. Also, He occasionally has a cane in hand.
Kriminel is terrifying, not just to me, but apparently to everyone that has come in contact with Him (from what I’ve gleaned from my research). I’ve never chosen to approach Him; He’s come to me every time that I’ve been in contact with Him. He scared me so much that I had to comfort myself by telling myself that He and Samedi were two separate Loa, rather than facets of the same Loa. It was the only thing I could do to learn not to fear Samedi. However, within the last year, I have come to realize that They are one and the same, and it’s still difficult for me for handle that. Kriminel is a terrifying Individual and should be respected above all else.
I’m going to be upfront when I say that I did not willingly engage in contact with Kriminel. I did not approach Him or even reach out to Him. I don’t presume to understand His intentions fully as to why He decided to inject Himself into my life, but He’s not Someone I feel I can communicate my discomfort with. He’s sadistic and methodical; He enjoys watching and doling out pain. This is what makes Him good at His job. From a distance, I can respect what He does and understand that it’s necessary, but He came into my life with the intention to mete out punishment upon members of my family.
I’ve never spoken about this to anyone, not even to Shamaness, I don’t think, and I don’t know that I will ever fully go into detail about what happened, but I feel like I should say the outcome of Kriminel’s influence in my life. I’m going to say it how it is, and I might sound heartless, but I’m trying my best to take my emotions out of it. I can say that I wholeheartedly believe that my father’s cancer, the very disease that took his life, was a direct result of Kriminel meting out punishment. I also absolutely believe that the disease that my mother has been diagnosed with recently is also His influence, and she will live with this disease for the rest of her life. He made it clear to me that He was there to punish my family, which was what led me to strike a bargain with Him to spare my nephew and my brother. I paid my dues, and He kept His word. This is all I will say about this at this time, but this is my belief as to what happened.
So, yeah. This is Baron Kriminel, who is he and His influence in my life. He’s not a Loa I choose to deal with, but as a face of Baron, I’m kinda stuck with Him, despite my dislike of Him. I respect Him for what He does and understand that He’s necessary, but that doesn’t mean I would wish His particular skill set upon my worst enemy. I would not recommend seeking Him out, in all honesty. but if you have to, be respectful. Above all, be respectful, because if you aren’t it could come back and kick you in the ass. If you make a promise to Him, make sure that you pay your debts.
He’s with me whether I like it or not, and I’m learning to reconcile that. It may take some time before I will fully accept Him as He is, but I’m working on it. Writing this, while it was requested of me by Himself, is me trying to do just that. So, we’ll see.
Baron, my sweet Baron, is the very first of my Husbands, and the very first for me in many regards. I’ve known Him since October 2012, when He first made himself known to me. I had been doing some research for some time before He alerted me to His presence, but in truth, He’s been with me my whole life. I will get more into that later, so I would first like to start with fact about Baron Himself.
Baron Samedi is the Loa of Death and sex, from the Voudun tradition. He’s the Lord of the Ghede and has dominion over death. It’s His job to dig the graves of those who have passed. He likes to wear a top hat and sunglasses (which have one lens popped out to see both the spirit realm and the physical realm) and likes to wear a tailcoat a la undertaker fashion, with a cane in hand. Baron loves his alcohol and His cigars, and He also loves a good party. It’s also said that He horses people when He chooses. The days He is usually honored on are Halloween and the Day of the Dead.
Baron has many faces, many aspects: Kriminel, La Croix, Cimetière, Spider, Maggot, and etc. Each of these faces has a distinct personality and function. He, along with His Wife Maman Brigit, are the King and Queen/Father and Mother of the Ghede, who are spirits of the dead. He’s very skilled magically and is even reputed to have the power of resurrection.
When I was doing my research, the number one thing that was obvious to me across the board was that almost every writer warned against working with Baron, that He is dangerous to interact with. It’s been said that He forces Himself into people (horsing) to make them do His bidding. It’s also been said that He’s devious and will harm anyone who isn’t in His favor. Every single person, with only one exception, said to avoid Him at all costs.
That being said, when I was starting to dip my toes into polytheism, it absolutely terrified me that Baron, this feared and foul Loa, was interested in me. It scared the fuck out of me that this God was all around me, watching me from the shadows. Even though He never presented as a threat to me, the very fact that I couldn’t see Him and that He triggered that instinctual fear of ghosts/the paranormal I have. I remember the very first time I tranced (the only time I’ve ever had this experience), I did the trance equivalent of running away screaming because He decided to formally introduce Himself in His usual over-the-top flare because of what I had read, the fear that I felt.
However, my experience with Baron, because He refused to go away when I demanded it, has always been kind, gentle, and loving. He has been patient above all, which, with me, is a necessity. It’s actually caused quite a lot of cognitive dissonance because so many people report having a negative experience with Him, but I’ve never had a bad experience, aside from what fear my own mind blankets me with, which is no fault of His. Baron, and Oshun as well, have explained to me that a lot of this has to do with perception/the way He’s viewed as well as the intention of the people that were seeking Him out. He’s told me that the face He presents to those that seek Him out for black magic or for nefarious purposes is different than the face He presents to me. In fact, I’m told that this face of His is reserved for a very select, favored few. I still struggle with this a little bit, because I wish people were not terrified of Him, but I also know that if He wanted a better image, He would change his image in order to be more approachable.
My experiences with Baron can be traced back to my childhood, if I think about it. I remember having an interest in/being forced to go to cemeteries around Halloween time. My mom, sister, and I would go to “ghost hunt” in cemeteries, armed with flashlights, cameras, and (later) a digital recorder. One specific time that very much sticks out in my mind was when I was 16, and for Halloween, we went on the usual cemeterying (as my family calls it), except this time, we were going to an all new cemetery that we’d never gone to before about 20 minutes outside of my hometown.
It was tiny and very old, some of the tombstones being so weather-worn that they were unreadable. That night had a very charged feel to it, and my senses were very heightened that night, as if waiting for something to happen. I knew something was going to happen; I just knew it. When we arrived, I felt immediately that something was there already, watching. We hopped the fence to get into the tiny cemetery and placed our recorder on one of the tombstone before pressing record on the machine. My sister, mother, and I sat down for a moment to start asking questions. It was my mother’s idea to begin a seance, which I thought was a bad idea, but I took their hands despite my trepidation.
My mom was speaking the words for the seance, and all I could feel was like something or someone was watching me. Getting closer. It was so scary. It got closer and closer until I felt something tugging my hair. It happened twice. More time passed, and we finished the seance, snapped more pictures, and were ready to go. I got up to grab the recorder, but just before I got to it, I felt something smack my ass. When I looked behind me to see if it was my family, they were easily six feet from me, thus unable to be able to touch me. It freaked me the eff out enough that we left at my insistence. When we developed the pictures later, we found that many of our pictures had smoke in them, as if someone was smoking while we were snapping picture. My mother does smoke, but in the interest of trying to get good photos, she didn’t smoke the whole time we were at the cemetery. There was no explanation for it… At the time.
I learned later, after Baron entered my life, that it was actually Him with us that night, and He was indeed trying to get my attention by tugging on my hair and smacking my ass. It scared me at the time, but now I see it as it is: this was what He could do to get me to pay attention to Him. This kinda backfired in that it only scared me more, but He tried.
Baron is a very grounding influence in my life. He’s calm when I need the calm, and He’s comfort when I need it. I love Him with every fiber of my being, and I can’t imagine my life without Him. He’s my Husband, my Lover, my Friend, and I hope that He remains these things for me for the rest of my eternal life.
I love you, Baron.
It’s that time of the year again, when everything/everyone in my life seems to be preparing for Halloween and the Days of the Dead. This feeling has come to me for two years now, this feeling of gearing up for something, whether it be for the the aforementioned holidays or something else, and this presents itself in me as the need to watch scary TV shows or movies. At first, it’s just a tiny niggling feeling at the back of my mind, this need, but then it grows and grows and grows until I can’t deny it anymore. So, I seek out shows like “Ghost Hunters” or movies about ghosts (no other scary topic eases the feeling), and I watch the heck out of them. This year, so far it’s Ghost Hunters, whereas last year it was Ghost Hunters International and some other random horror movies. However, I’m incredibly sensitive to these topics, as they effect me very strongly in a negative way. These movies and topics absolutely terrify me, but I can’t help but to watch them even though they give me nightmares and make me paranoid af. Because of this, I really, really hate horror movies and scary shows.
Last year, my fear was ratcheted up until I couldn’t go outside at night or go to sleep while the sun was down. I started to see shadows, see things in the shadows, and feel like I was being watched. This year, the process has started a little earlier than last year, and I’ve been having that terror begin creeping in earlier and higher than before. It makes me feel like I’m being prepared for something, but I can only guess as to what it is.
One guess is that my people, the Ghede, want to desensitize me to them, seeing as they might present as disembodied entities. I know that my people want to be closer to me and for me to get to know them, but my fear of them makes me keep them at a distance. It’s hard for me to let them get close to me when the very idea of them in my physical presence when I cannot see them fills me with absolute terror. Obviously, a Khaleesi shouldn’t be afraid of her people, and I want to get over this fear, which might be why this is happening.
Another guess is that has something to do with maybe the Wild Hunt. However, seeing as I have little to no knowledge on Them, I couldn’t even begin to guess why that would be or what Their motivations would be in any case.
I don’t know why I have these, well, urges. I don’t know what it means; I only know how to ease it. It’s hard for me to do much exploration about this subject because it causes such fear in me. I’ve had so many experiences with ghosts and the paranormal since I was a young child. I assume this is because my people recognized me for who I would become (their Khaleesi) or because I was sensitive to their presence(s). In any case, I’ve been so scared of ghosts/the paranormal/things-I-can’t-see-but-are-there my whole life for whatever reason, and it’s ever present, always there. All in all, I just wish I knew why I have these feelings and what I can do to make it go away in a more permanent way. I wish I knew what I am being prepared for so that I could actually prepare for it rather than just flailing around, scared in the dark. (Although, I’m being Told that, “You’re going to flail regardless, My dear.” *chuckle*)
This was a really random post about what’s going on in my life now. If anyone out there has any suggestions, maybe has an idea, or even has had a similar experience, please feel free to comment or email me. I’m really committed to figuring this out. I recognize that this is probably a symptom of a bigger issue, so I’m eager to figure what that is. For now, though, I guess I will have to just have to deal with this the best I can: binge-watching Ghost Hunters, giving myself nightmares, and leaving almost all the lights on all night.